the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
