Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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