I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
