On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
