I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
