i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
