I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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