is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
