i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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