started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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