god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
