Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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