the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
