Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize