So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
