If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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