a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
