I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
where are my eyebrows?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
