Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
