you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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