There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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