that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
