I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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