i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
