I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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