Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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