We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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