oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
