I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you had me at cake vodka
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
