I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
