I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize