I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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