these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize