when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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