apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
