Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
