smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
