Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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