So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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