Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
