Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
