I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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