Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
