Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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