I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
