I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
