Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
