Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
