nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
