I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
