Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
