I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize