So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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