My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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