apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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