Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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