Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize