I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
