Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
