im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
