Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
