NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
