dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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